Articles in the Writer Relationships Category

It is 3:57 in the morning. Do you know where your characters are? If you are like most writers, you know exactly where they are because they refuse to let you get a proper nights sleep, or bath, or read, or time alone to enjoy the minutiae of life.

Once you have given life to someone, sometimes they do not shut up. I find this to be true of children, and characters. I rarely get to spend my hour commute listening to the radio, or relaxing with the windows rolled down and my mind on mute. As soon as the fiction characters in my latest story realize I’m alone the chatter starts.

The first time this happened to me, I was sure I was schizophrenic. When I stopped at each red light while driving, I tried to jot down an idea but, by then the characters had told their friends that I was free, and I forgot what I was noting in the first place.

Forget taking a bath. I used to think the kids, and the dog were most deft at keeping me from taking a bath alone. No, it is the antagonist calling to say he is ready to kill my main character, and by the way, …I need to shave my legs.

Sleeping can be like running a relay race. When I sleep someone shouts something into my psyche, and I have to jump up to write. My best stuff comes at 3:00 A M decidedly, because like an infant, that is when my fiction characters are awake. After I have pecked the brainstorm into my computer, I head back to bed. Usually, I can fall back asleep. At least until, the protagonist finds out what his adversary said about him.

When I first started writing, it drove me mad to share my brain with all the people who were crashing my psychological party. Now, when I’m done with a story, and things get quiet, I have let down.

I sit in the tub and wait for someone to say something. Then I lay in bed, and listen to the quiet wishing my fiction characters would “throw me a bone.” When I’m feeling overwhelmed by the amount of jabber going on in my brain, and I want to throw up the NO VACANCY sign, I remember how lonely I am without them.

I just flipped my sign over, reads Vacancy – welcome all night owls. I’ll probably catch you all at about 2:30…in the morning.

Do your fiction characters keep you awake at night? When was the last time you were able to have a relaxing bath or drive from one side of town to the other without their company? How do you deal with the lack of mental vacancies?

Photo Credit: Nathan Barry
Photo Credit: DG Jones

The value of support, and a sounding board, during the writing process can be immeasurable.  While there are writers who keep their work locked in a vault of secrecy until the first (sometimes second and third) draft is finished, I am not one of them. I have never been able to complete a chapter without support, feedback, constructive criticism, and encouragement from advance readers.

Call it artistic insecurity, or call it vanity, but I get a little boost when I hear, “Wow that rocked!”. The enthusiasm of advance readers can be just the kick in the rear you need to keep going. I often (no less than three times a day) and like many other writers think, “Why am I writing this?  Have I completely lost my mind?” The backing and encouragement of a trusted friend reminds my of my motives for writing. I write to be read.

Sharing what you write when you are at the top of your game can come in handy when your self esteem takes a dive, too. Your advance readers can reignite your enthusiasm and excitement. When you face that nasty bout of writer’s block they’re there to push you to keep writing. When the work knocks you on your rear they’re there to pull you to your feet and dust you off.

My favorite thing about the champions of my writing is their never tiring of willingness to brainstorm with me. They don’t mind reading the same paragraph twelve times. Sometimes it’s just a thought or word they share that spurs my imagination. A five minute conversation can turn into three thousand words and a captivating new plot twist.

A true advocate will also spread the word when your work is done. He’ll back it as if it were their own.  Friends will feel a sense of shared ownership and pride in the finished product and be eager to help you market the work.

Without the supporters who spend countless hours reading, critiquing, and loving my work, I’m not sure I could have finished my first novel, let alone plunged into the ones that followed.

What are some of the other ways you stay inspired? Who do you trust with your work before it’s finished? What do your advance readers do for you?

If you haven’t shared your work yet, I highly recommend it, and I guarantee a smile.

I have two small children, who are just learning the building blocks of reading and writing. They have a keen interest in what mommy is doing, typing away at the keyboard all day, putting letters together to make words, and to tell stories. Reading and writing are critical skills; I want to do everything I can to make sure they love what reading and writing can do for them.

“We shouldn’t teach great books; we should teach a love of reading.” — B. F. Skinner

Here are my favorite ways you can encourage your children to play with words. Please add your ideas in the comments below. What has worked for your children, and what hasn’t?

Reading Time

Of course, before kids can learn to write well, they need the fundamentals of the alphabet, and reading. I try to read every day with them. Right before bed is the traditional reading time, but don’t be surprised if they come running to you with their favorite story in the middle of the afternoon. Anytime is a good time to share a story with your kids.

Be sure to take them to the library as often as possible, to expose them to the wide variety of books available. Many libraries have summer reading programs that encourage children to read (or be read to), with many rewards along the way. You could also join (or create) a parent-child book club to encourage the sharing of books and stories. Keeping track of the stories your child has read will let you know when it’s time to expand your personal reading library.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” — Dr. Seuss

Literacy Videos, Flashcards, and Games

Today there are a variety of materials geared to young children to encourage their reading and writing capabilities. Videos and television shows are often designed for preschool age children, exposing them to a wide variety of words and phonics sounds. Flashcards encourage letter and word recognition, which is suitable for the beginning reader.

Websites with children’s games are a unique way to encourage reading, without making it feel like study time. With both written and spoken instructions, kids will learn how to play the games and how to read at the same time. Always supervise your kids when they are on the computer, and don’t let computer time cut into book reading time.

Material games, such as word jumbles, rhyming sounds, and even board games also enhance your child’s reading skills, showing them how letters form words, and what sounds are created with different letters. You could even play an oral version of round robin, where you start a story and let your children come up with the next scene. Your children will learn the basics of plot and character creation, even when it sounds very similar to the stories you already read to your children.

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends: they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” — Charles W. Eliot

Give Your Children Their Own Writing Tools

Budding writers will need their own writing materials, so they can work alongside their writer-parents. Even if they haven’t mastered writing their letters yet, the practice will encourage them to keep trying. My kids have their own notebooks, where they can draw, scribble, and write to their hearts’ content. They also have small kids’ laptops, where they can type away while I’m typing.

Besides your growing library of children’s books, consider getting them their own subscription to a children’s magazine. Kids love receiving things in the mail that are just for them, and they will learn the value of the written word, as it becomes a special monthly treasure. They will also associate the words with the pictures, and may even make their own story books! Give them construction paper and crayons, and let them create their own magazine, scrapbook, or cards with a little help from you.

“Happy is he who has laid up in his youth, and held fast in all fortune, a genuine and passionate love of reading.” — Rufus Choate

What other ideas do you use to promote literacy with your children? Do they share your love of reading and writing?

Photo Credit: Genista

by Jack Blair

Parents today are often worried about their children’s reading. In part this is encouraged by schools, whose agenda of testing, leveling, and standardized scoring concerns many parents and leads them to fear that their children are somehow subnormal or failing.

In fact children learn to read at different ages, depending on their level of maturity. This does not mean that some children do not have problems reading, they do; however, many parents feel they need support to help develop their children’s reading skills.

What can you do, as a parent, to help your child with their reading?

Have many books in the house. It doesn’t matter whether your child is a baby or ten years old, the presence of books matters, because it gives children the opportunity to seek them out independently. It also creates an impression of the importance of books. Parents should also be members of the local library and take their children there as often as possible. Trips to bookshops and browsing book-selling websites are also helpful.

Parents should make time to read to their children. Some parents are surprised to find that children will enjoy this for many years – you should not stop simply because your child is an independent reader. Reading to them, and with them, encourages them to visualize stories and to ask questions about characters and situations. Try not to treat this time as a class: do not stop every page or so to ask the child “comprehension” questions, instead put on voices, change your tone, make the story come alive, and include your child as you read.

With older children who are reluctant to read, this time can be adapted into a story-CD time, giving them and you the space to listen to a book together. Many books for older children have been successfully adapted for CD. There is also no reason why parents should not share comics and magazines with their children. Some parents think that this is not “real” reading, but often the language used and sentence structures employed in magazines are as varied as many children’s books. Boys in particular may read sports magazines written for adults – this involves complex skills and should not be criticized.

Parents should be readers themselves. You should have a book “on the go” as much as possible, and you should be seen reading for your own pleasure or education. A parent is a model of behavior and this applies to reading as much as it does to table manners.

Parents should not agonize about their child’s choice of reading. If a child is reading and enjoying it, there is no such thing as a book that is “too easy”. Ignore the temptation to force books onto your child that they do not want or for which they are not ready. If you are cynical or critical of their reading, it will persuade them that they are not good at it, and it will discourage them.

Reading is a skill, but it is also a great pleasure of life. Children need every opportunity to develop this pleasure in their own time and in their own way. Let your child’s love of books blossom, and encourage them as much as you can. They will, certainly, thank you when they are older.

What memories of reading (and being read to) do you have from your childhood? As writer’s we often start as enthusiastic readers. How do (or could) you create similar memories for the children in your life?

Photo Credit: 10-22-07 © iofoto
Photo Credit: 03-30-09 © Damir Cudic
Photo Credit: 02-19-10 © Noam Armonn

Freelancing can be a rough business.  Receiving rejections, tedious rewrites, grumpy editors and more can plague everyone’s day and leave your family drained from the day’s ups and downs.  It might seem like a great idea to work later into the evening or throughout the weekend to catch up.  When deadlines are looming, a few extra hours is okay, but remembering to unwind and play is important, too.

Exercise is important for multiple reasons.  Exerting energy in bursts offers inspiration, boosts your metabolism, provides an outlet to physically exert frustrations, and helps keep your body healthy to handle the stressors of the day.  Spending the weekend away from the computer with your family offers plenty of activities that serve a dual purpose: exercise and bonding. 

Tips and Suggestions:

• A picnic lunch at the park.
  • When planning your picnic out, remember to include plenty of items for outdoor fun.  Outdoor balls, wiffle balls and bats, plastic golfing games, frisbees, horseshoes and a volleyball serve in a pinch depending on your location.  If you find a part that serves different outdoor sports, invite friends and extended family to come along for added conversation and fun.
• Walking along the waterways.
  • There’s a great program sponsored by Geocaching.com called, “Cache in, trash out.”  You can apply the same principle to any outdoors walk you take.  Carry with you a couple of small trash bags and pick up any debris along the way that could harm the space you have to meander.  Not only are you doing your body good when walking, you’ve made a positive impact on the environment.  Who couldn’t feel good about that?
• Biking and Hiking in the hills and mountains.
  • Planning a trip to the mountains takes a bit more planning.  You must remember all your basic necessities including water, survival tools (knife, flints, flares) as well as pack high energy foods capable of sustaining you in the event you are trapped for the night.  Investing in insulating blankets to carry is a wise idea, too.  Seldom do people find themselves stuck on the mountain with no way down, but if it happened to you, it would provide an amazing story to pitch to an editor once you return to civilization.
• Visiting a zoo or other local museum.
  • When the weather is less than favorable for an outdoor adventure, spending time inside might just serve you well.  As long as you are away from your work space and doing something outside your normal routine.  Walking through a zoo or large museum will exercise your body and mind.  Animals and displays from the past will recharge your inspirational pool. 

For many writers, finding balance between home and family can be difficult.  No matter how you are pulled to put in an extra couple of hours, make sure you are choosing your hours wisely.  If you can spent time out recharging yourself and build memories with your family, it’s more than worth staying up an hour later or rising an hour early to finish out that assignment.  Afterall, why work hard to achieve success when you aren’t reaping the benefits of what you sow?

by Jacob Malewitz

Encouraging children to read isn’t quite lost. Children often do read! They read comic books, they read Harry Potter novels … but more often than not they sit in front of the TV first. Television has hurt the amount of reading our entire society has done. Instead of short stories, we watch Television sitcoms. Instead of reading history books, we turn on the History Channel.

The front line of reading is children. If you want to create a love of reading within your child, here are some helpful tips.

Read to Them:

This may sound simple, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to say often parents don’t instill the basics of reading in their children. They leave it to the schools to do it. So what can you do? One example is to simply read to them for ten minutes before putting them to bed.

Read Aloud:

Reading aloud to them is quite important. Some children take longer to read than others. It’s fun for both you and the child, and it helps them learn to read themselves (even the big words).

Buy Them Books:

Books are still around and still read. Millions sell every year. There are countless children’s fiction series, for example, while also many short history books. Some older children like to read scary stuff; it wasn’t too long ago the “Goosebumps” series by R.L. Stine was selling out. Try to see what they like in television and films, and apply that to buying them books. Often children’s books can be bought for pennies on the dollar at used book stores.

Take Them to Libraries:

Libraries are an even better option for parents. It gives the child the choice to pick out what they like. Make it a regular event to go to the local library on weekends or after work. Many libraries also have reading programs for children, some even use “bookmobiles” to travel to schools and let children get books.

Illustrations Help:

A picture can still say a thousand words, so don’t be shy about getting your child picture books. Sometimes even comic books are a good way to encourage reading for a child.

Make Reading Fun!

Reading should be fun and not a chore. Turn the TV off for a half-hour to an hour every night. Read to your child and instill a love of words in them. Tell them they can write their own stories, and even draw pictures of their favorite characters. Reading is an art, so let’s make sure it’s not a lost one.

Jacob Malewitz is a published author, professional web copywriter, marketing consultant, blogger, and ghost writer. He’s the author of over 600 articles, two ghost written eBooks, hundreds of pages of web text, several successful blogs, and a small press book on creative writing, coming soon. He specializes in many online business and web marketing topics such as SEO, social media, branding, and earning money from blogging.

What’s Your Core Strength?

“While at the flower store, ordering a nice bunch of orchids to honor the longest-term relationship I’ve ever had–with myself, I noticed that many people were more focused on what to get or do for their significant others, or what they were getting done for them, than how to celebrate their own selves.

“In fact, out of the 20 or so other people who were there, not one of them were wrapping up blooms from them, to them. When they found out I was, it was like a kitten had popped out of my jacket pocket. “Ohmigosh–That’s SO cute!,” they said, eyes wide with the sheer quaintness of it all.

“It struck me then, how weighted we can get towards our external offerings and relationships. It’s rare to see someone taking themselves out for dinner, and choosing the nice restaurant over the quick fix, or taking the time to appreciate themselves with a love letter, a kind remark or even the simple beauty of flowers. “ ~ Sadie Nardini

Loving Relationship

When I started reading Sadie’s recent article, “What’s Your Core Strength?” (Yoga Journal) I couldn’t stop. Her words are so fresh and inspiring – and true.

I mean, as freelancers, how often do we truly appreciate ourselves? Our talent? Our bodies? Our health? Our time?

How often do we skip meals, lose sleep, push ourselves through sickness, exhaustion, blood-shot eyes, headaches? More often than not, right?

Why is it that we throw all of our love, passion, time, strength, mind, body and soul into our words, stories, books, characters, work, and give ourselves so little? Why do we strive to please our editors and clients – yet don’t give a thought to the simplest pleasure that we might enjoy?

Freelance Relationships

We spend so much time working on creating, building, and nurturing the relationships with our editors, clients, fellow freelancers, and potential clients. Why is it then, that we find it so hard to have a relationship with ourselves? To be kind to ourselves? Take care of ourselves? Do something just for us?

Relationship Deprivation

Oh, yes, money is an issue. We give and give and give until we’re all written out and our bodies and minds are worn out. Our bank account may be growing and expanding but our once youthful, cheerful, well-fed souls may be withering away to nothingness!

Is it hard to imagine treating yourself to a bouquet of roses – just because? Does it seem impossible to spend your hard-earned cash on a massage, a new outfit, your favorite restaurant, or even just a stroll through the park or a leisurely day (or even hour!) spent watching a little TV, reading a book you’ve been meaning to read, or taking that yoga class you’ve been fantasizing about?

Rich Relationship

Life is so much richer when it involves vibrant relationships. But you don’t have to be in a relationship with someone else to know that you’re special. You don’t have to receive a dozen roses from someone else to smile. And you don’t have to be a freelancer to give yourself a little TLC.

If we can be as creative as we normally are without treating ourselves, imagine what a superhero we would be if we did!

You’ll have to excuse me, I have a date – with yoga and myself. After that, I’ll be refreshed and ready to greet my freelance life with a smile!

Do you having a love-filled, caring, sweet, thoughtful, compassionate relationship – with yourself? Do you think it’s silly? Do you think it sounds inviting? Do you love yourself enough to treat yourself better – or at least as well – as you treat your clients and editors, and expect others to? Have you ever written yourself a letter? Bought yourself flowers? Dined at a restaurant alone (on purpose)? If you could have any relationship with yourself, what would it be: spontaneous, encouraging, luxurious, simple? Can you be as faithful to yourself as you are to everyone else?

Photo credit: Michael Melrose

Yesterday, I worked flat out for eight hours in glorious Perth sunshine, amongst fun-loving company, in the beautiful vineyard covered Swan Valley, northeast of Perth City, Western Australia. This is my idea of freelance heaven. This is why people abandon their cubicles and steady income, come hell or paid sick leave, and throw their lot into a poky home office (aka the closet) and the uncertainty of bills piling high.

Who could imagine a day of wines, beer, cheese, sausage, nougat, and Margaret River Chocolate Company’s famous chocolate, in Perth’s Valley of Taste could be considered work? When was the last time you made an effort to be involved in work outside of your home office, outside of the drudgery of paperwork and away from your computer screen?

A Swan Valley Wine Tour Is Work?

While this sun shining Saturday hit my tax deductible expense account rather than my profits, the aspect of social connection and interaction involved has the potential to reap rewards well into the future. I might not have cashed a check for those eight hours but what I did cash was industry connections, job leads, and brand.

Who needs to invest several hundred dollars in a corporate advertising campaign when a day out amongst grape vines and exotic tea leaves offers a higher return on investment and fun!

Be Fun But Be Professional

One of the aspects I enjoyed most about this group of industry professionals is they are just that, professional. A wine tour could be the ultimate excuse to get completely trashed, throw up in the back seat of the bus and make inappropriate passes at women half your age, none of these things occurred because my twenty companions were professional. They were courteous, responsible, and considerate.

This is exactly what you must be if you want to make a good impression and experience a successful event. Yes, you can drink, in fact we all tried and tasted about twenty glasses of wine with various alcohol content over the course of a few hours, but you should be responsible. Remember where you are, who you are, and how you want to end your evening (preferably not with your head in a toilet).

Connections Are Key!

Finally, the greatest advantage an event like this provides is connection. Shoulder-to-shoulder with colleagues who have varying specialties and contacts. If you can be genuinely interested in your companions you’ll strike up conversations that naturally migrate to an opportunity to promote yourself and your business. Don’t forget to pass over your business card or collect contact details for followup.

Freelance, The Fun Way

Trust me, freelancing isn’t all about hobnobbing with the industry big wigs and drinking splendidly fresh, vine-ripened wines. These events come along once in a blue moon and the smart freelancer will pounce upon the opportunity and juggle their schedule to accommodate. Snap up as many chances to socialize in a relaxed setting because as freelancers we need to get out into the sunshine from time to time. As writers we thrive on human interaction. As business people we flourish in word-of-mouth functions.

It’s time to go hunting for the next great event! Did you say Christmas Party?