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Title: How You Leave Them Feeling
Author: Jesse Ferrell
Publisher: JessTalk, hardback, 254 pages
ISBN 10: 0977881008

“Simply put, how you leave other people feeling and how people perceive you have a profound effect on the quality of your life,” declares the jacket blurb on Jesse Ferrell’s “How You Leave Them Feeling“. Ferrell encourages readers to adopt his approach in any interaction. The goal is to leave each person feeling good about himself and thus feeling good about you. When you do this, Mr. Ferrell maintains, you will be on the way to living the life you deserve, getting what you want out of life, and “living the good life now.”

Ferrell begins with a rousing introduction in which he explains the idea of the book. He describes how he saw that his own success was based on his ability to consistently leave clients and others feeling good about themselves. Then he sets the table for the main course by listing the principles on which he has built his own life. (He calls them the “Seven Essential Laws of Life”.)

In the thirteen chapters that follow, he delivers the details of his Seven Essential Laws and explains how they relate to leaving others feeling good about themselves and you. He explores subjects of attitude, communication, personal and professional development, building a support network, maintaining a healthy balance in life and more, illustrating liberally with real-life anecdotes and summing up with bits of catchy wisdom.

Some memorable points of the book for me were:

• The idea of the personal signature or unique style by which each of us becomes known.
• An emphasis on kindness and giving to others.
• The importance of attitude – along with a piece of good advice: “When in doubt, leave it out… it is far easier to revisit a situation and provide additional messages than it is to take back a wrongful or inappropriate remark stemming from an attitude glitch.”
• The importance of listening: “Sharpening your listening skills will bring you more respect and interpersonal growth than just about any other endeavor. People like to feel they are being heard. When you clearly listen to others, you are honoring the power of communication by investing the time to take in their message.”
• The challenge to leave everything – and everyone – better than you found them.

The readability of Ferrell’s practical and crisply written material is helped by consistent organization and formatting. The text is laid out with lots of white space between paragraphs and broken up with bold-face headings. The main points of each chapter are listed again at the conclusion as action steps. A list of summary points (one-sentence statements that describe how following the actions steps will impact the reader’s behavior) and affirmations (brief positive statements for the reader to repeat or reflect on) conclude each chapter.

Jesse Ferrell, the man, comes across as enthusiastic, likable, a great friend and team player with lots of drive, integrity and clear goals. As a former executive within the Las Vegas casino marketing industry, he is now president and CEO of a professional speaking company, JessTalk Speaking Services, and seems eminently qualified to write a book of this kind. His experience in the corporate world gives added value to the personal and professional development section via the diary system he has developed and illustrates. He now works as a life coach and the “JessTalk Life Quadrant Model” he has developed for clients drives home his point about the need for and means of achieving a balanced lifestyle.

I gained much from the book. However, I would not adopt it carte blanche as my personal road guide. It is written from a humanistic perspective and is birthed out of a New Age worldview (bad energy, good energy, karma, the Cosmos, evolved soul, mantra, Mother Nature, envisioning/visualization are all terms or concepts found within). With that in mind, however, I would say that you can learn much of value from “How You Leave Them Feeling” whatever your creed.

I have encountered many of its principles in my own belief system and I decided, as I read it, to use what I could and simply discard the things with which I didn’t agree. It has certainly made me think twice about how I will treat the next telemarketer, panhandler, supermarket clerk or whomever – and that’s got to be a good thing.

Violet Nesdoly, a poet, Christian and Children’s Author said, “The world of words has fascinated me for as long as I can remember. As a kid, whenever my Mom needed me for a job, it was a sure thing she’d find me between the covers of a book.”

You can get to know her better by reading her blog, Line Upon Line, where she shares inspiration, poetry, and thoughts on writing life. You can also find out more about Jesse Ferrell on his site, JessTalk Speaking and Coaching Services.

If you’re interested in having a review or article posted on Writer’s Round-About please send a query letter to rebecca.laffarsmith@gmail.com.

When I first stumbled across “Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path: The Journey from Frustration to Fulfillment” I REALLY needed it. It was one of those, ‘my dreams are going down the toilet‘ months when I was struggling to put two coherent words together and was seriously considering getting a REAL JOB!

Writing was hard. Much harder than I thought it should be. I assumed that if I was supposed to be a writer I could just, you know, be one. I thought that once I’d started writing it would all happen. I had never thought of myself as anything but a writer and I figured, by twenty-four, I should be well on my way.

I was deep in the realms of despair, regret and recrimination. I was on the verge of calling it quits when I came across this beautiful book in a second hand bookstore. It winked at me from the shelf, calling out with that “Writer” word that is always so tempting.

I’m so glad I spent the $15.98 (AUD) to buy that book that day because I read it, cover to cover and felt this amazing sense of rightness. “Seven Steps” helped me realize that what I was feeling was entirely normal. It was all a part of the process and if anything, had I not been reaching that point I’d have been either, far earlier into the journey or on the wrong path completely.

In “Seven Steps”, psychologist and self-help author Lynn Lott and mystery writer Nancy Pickard go into detail about each of the steps all writers face on the path of their individual writer’s journey. They show readers how each of the seven stages can be recognized and overcome.

Nancy and Lynn use anecdotes from their own lives, quotes from experienced writers and real-life situations to show how each of the seven steps affect all writers and how you can move past the challenges on this intense ‘journey from frustration to fulfillment‘.

The seven steps, uncertainty, wanting, commitment, wavering, letting go, immersion, and fulfillment are fantastic markers to help you feel confident about your journey. It’s like having a road map to the way you’re supposed to feel and having permission to feel that way.

These two authors really know what they’re talking about. It is incredible to feel a sense of unity between writers; a sense of cosmic connection and belonging to a greater family who understand us. We all go through the same emotions and turmoil. We are not alone and every stage is not only normal but expected and will not last forever.

“Seven Steps” is a fantastic book for writers who need to recharge their inspiration and rebuild their sense of hope and accomplishment. No matter what stage you are at there are true methods to bring you along the path and to avoid those nasty detours that tempt us on the way.

If you are stalled on your own journey this book can help focus your mind and heart so that you can turn the key and get the car back on the road of a writer’s life. Even before I finished reading this book I was writing again. As I turned the pages I felt reenergized and could sharpen my focus, reaffirm my goals and get my schedule back into order. I came out of hibernation and started living, and writing.

If you haven’t read “Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path: The Journey from Frustration to Fulfillment”, I recommend you get your hands on a copy. It’s a must-have for any writer’s bookshelf.

Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path: The Journey from Frustration to Fulfillment
by Nancy Pickard and Lynn Lott.

First published in 2003 by Ballantine Books,
an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group.

Psychological Profiling – A technique Lynn Lott uses on her psychology clients, which she calls top cards, leads into the question, “What animal are you?” – As found in “Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path: The Journey from Frustration to Fulfillment” by Nancy Pickard and Lynn Lott.

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