December 18 – A moderate case of writer’s lack of confidence

December 18th, 2012

Ok, 8pm crashed into me today. But I’m here, my files open, I’m ready to go, sorta.

Grr, like pulling teeth. I think it’s because I had a rushed start. Stupid game was distracting me. I’d meant to go home, but didn’t, so I got started at Mum’s and now I’m kind of bound here tonight.

It’s a rough start, probably because of the rush, but I still managed 535 words.

Ok, getting started again. I’ll have to remember to make a cup of tea real quick after this one. Battling a headache, mild dehydration, and a moderate case of writer’s lack of confidence. Still, one must not let these things defeat the art, right? Onward!

*sighs* It’s not getting any easier. Perhaps because I’m displaced and getting distracted/interrupted. People talk to me here. It’s very frustrating. I wish I’d gone home in time to get started with these.

*groans* 423. And it’s still like pulling teeth. I’m afraid I’ll end up having to scrap this whole scene. It doesn’t feel right. I’ve definitely got to figure out the various character voices. Maybe I’m over-thinking the whole thing. Or maybe it’s because I’m scattered tonight and can’t settle into it.

*sighs* Ok, going again. Words is words after all.


I have to double check that I didn’t already kill Jackson. I hope I did already kill Carvy. Gotta double check all that.


I only wrote 203 words that time. But really I wrote more, because I took a lot out too. I’ve been having trouble with this scene so I’ve been going back, fitting bits in, fleshing it out more instead of just straight writing. Still, it’s progress, and it’s 20 minutes of focused progress. For me, that’s what Word Wars are really all about.

298 words. *grimaces* Still, that scene has mostly come together and I’m started on the next scene. I’m wading through it because I have snippets from an earlier draft that I need to consider for these next few scenes. It’s a complete rewrite but the story is buried in those snippets so I’m passing back and forth between pages of old draft. Stupid way to write, really. But that’s the way it works after the first (and second, and third) draft sometimes.

I have a problem. The scenes unfolding tonight have rushed too far ahead. Of course, I have pages of old draft that can be woven in and hopefully I can pull these pieces apart a bit to better fit my outline. I can’t rush these last chapters. Yes, the tension needs to remain high but I always hate books that seem to crash to the end. They build up and build up and then suddenly it climaxes in a rush. You want to sustain that literature orgasm. That’s what these scenes need to do. Keep that thrumming tension quivering there as the climax comes together, draw it out, make it a sweet ecstasy of reward for the reader, and then take a soft breath to wind it down at the end. At the moment, it’s rushed like a clumsy teenager.

Ok, done some math. That last word war gave me another 324 words. Bringing my total for today to 2,312. Not too bad. And then *drum roll* my current book total stands at 86,250 words. That’s just 13,750 words until my 100,000 word target. So if I can straighten out these chapters here, get them unfolding correctly and at the right pace it should be a good run down to the finish line. I might even want to cut out a bit.

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Rebecca Laffar-Smith

Rebecca Laffar-Smith is a publisher, children's writer, and novelist. In 2010 she gave up a successful 12-year freelance career to focus on her three loves; family, community, and fiction. She self-published her debut novel The Flight of Torque in June 2014 and the first three titles in the P.I. Penguin series in from Aulexic in May 2015. At The Craft of Writing Fiction, Rebecca shares her journey of creation and learning with readers. She loves getting to know her fellow readers and writers and can be contacted through Twitter and Facebook, or Email.

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