Articles archived for February 2010

This month, Writer’s Round-About welcomes Melissa Hart, a talented memoirist and freelance writer as she tours the Web with her new book, “Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood“. You’ve already heard from Melissa with her fabulous guest post, “Writing, Romance, and Child-Rearing: A Critical Balance“, and Cindy Hudson reviewed Melissa’s book for us sharing the warmth and insight of the book and giving us an eye into Melissa’s world.

Melissa, thank you so much for joining us this month. It’s an pleasure to have you with us and I appreciate your taking the time to talk with me today. Lets get down to finding out your answers to some of my burning questions, then we can open up the floor to let others ask theirs.

1. In “Gringa“, you write about “a lesbian mother”, how do you think your relationship with your mother, and her inter-personal relationships, affected the way you develop characters as a writer?

My mother came out when I was a pre-teen, but I didn’t know what being a lesbian meant. For a few months, there was all this secrecy around her moving in with a woman; my father and his mother whispered about it and told me my mother was “ill.” He took us to a social worker who grilled us about where my mother and her partner slept and whether they hugged and kissed in front of us.

I learned to analyze people both for how they presented in public and for their hidden motivations. I don’t mean to sound paranoid; we all hide our motivations, and the emotions driving them, on occasion. I learned to develop multifaceted characters by studying both the public and private persona of my family members. Every other Friday and Sunday night when I traveled up the Pacific Coast Highway with my mother, we discussed how we’d been separated by the legal system and why. She was studying psychology at the time, and I remember talking about our family with respect to Freud and Jung and Rogers, and later–when I took psychology classes in college–to my social psychology professor Eliot Aronson.

In Gringa, I’m particularly proud of resisting the temptation to portray my father as simply a homophobic bully. Many reviewers have noted that I don’t place blame in the book. While I’d disagree that I don’t blame my father for some of the events in my childhood, I’ve tried hard to show his side of the story, as well.

2. The Latina culture is considered deeply sensual and erotic, how do you feel that culture and “a deep desire to be a Latina” influences your writing?

My perceived lack of culture shaped my writing for years. Growing up as a minority in multicultural schools, and visiting my mother who lived in a Latino neighborhood in Oxnard, I felt inadequate in terms of my skin color, food and music choices, lack of religion with its white dresses or Buddhist shrines. I didn’t perceive the Latina culture to be “deeply sensual and erotic” until college, however, when I was still figuring out who I was as a sexual person with an older, very sexually-secure Latino boyfriend. I’ve got a story coming out in The Los Angeles Review in a few months that illustrates my struggle to be erotic without really knowing what that meant.

3. You’ve had the opportunity to travel to other countries, each with a unique culture and people. What do you feel is the most significant lesson you’ve learned about the people and relationships in other countries that finds its way into your writing?

There’s a lot of hype about how people from other countries don’t like Americans. I’ve been traveling internationally for a couple of decades, and I haven’t found this to be true. I think when you approach a new country and its people with an open mind and an open heart, with humility and curiosity, people welcome this.

I went to Amsterdam a few years ago to present a paper on training a permanently-injured Snowy owl for the International Association of Avian Trainers and Educators; here, touring the Artis Zoo and sharing our various bird-stories over meals, I felt so much mutual interest and respect. I work as a travel writer for newspapers and magazines on occasion, and I try to approach each new location and its inhabitants with this same interest and respect.

4. In a review of “Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood“, Booklist writers, “LGBT families and immigrant kids will want it for honesty, humor, and love. Every lively chapter ends with a detailed recipe that mixes food and feelings.”

Food is such an integral part of life. How do you feel these things, honesty, humor, love, food, and feelings, come together when writing?

Cooking is just so much fun, and so meditative when you’re chopping vegetables or beating egg whites or shelling peas. I always remember Laura Esquivel’s novel “Like Water for Chocolate” and how whatever emotion the protagonist, Tita, was feeling while she cooked somehow made it into the meal she served. I’m careful to think kind, loving thoughts when I cook, just in case I’m imparting emotions along with my enchiladas and carrot cakes.

When you get to cook with people, creating a meal all together, opportunities for intimate dialogue abound. I grew up cooking with my mother and her partner, my grandmother and my sister, both in the kitchen and around campfires. We talked constantly during these hours, and since my family comes from show-business stock, we did plenty of dancing and singing and joke-telling, as well. Now, we tell stories about memorable holiday meals–the time Mom and Annie dropped the cooked Thanksgiving turkey on the kitchen floor, the first time the man who would become my husband dropped a beautiful unbaked pie on the floor–and just howl with laughter. One of my great pleasures in life is to visit my mothers in Southern California and help them cook a big meal. It’s very easy to recall the emotions inherent in cooking together when I need to write a scene involving food and/or cooking.

5. Conversation is vital when developing relationships. It is what makes dialogue such a key element in fiction. When writing memoir it is very rare that a writer has transcripts or recordings of actual conversations. What tips do you have for writers writing memoir dialogue?

This will strike some writers as shameless, but I make the point in the workshops I teach on memoir writing that we do not go through our lives carrying around a digital recorder and video camera, and so we sometimes need to create dialogue. If you can’t recall what your great-grandmother said word-for-word when you were six years old, does that mean you shouldn’t give her a voice in memoir? I believe there’s an understanding between the memoirist and most readers that dialogue has been created out of memories which stay true to the character. For Gringa, I relied on journals I’d kept since age 9, as well as photographs, conversations with my mother and sister, and in one case, a recording I’d actually made of my grandmother.

There are other ways to approach dialogue as a memoirist, of course. The writer might craft something speculative, such as “Although I can’t recall her actual words, my great-grandmother might have said, ‘Why, yes, honey, I had a Latino boyfriend in the circus.’” (That’s true of my great-grandmother, by the way, but I find such speculative sentences awkward, with the effect of pulling people out of a narrative story.

I’m interested in how David Sedaris refers to his work as “stories” rather than “memoir.” I think he saves himself a hell of a lot of trouble in making this distinction. To close on this controversial subject, I think it’s all right to recreate dialogue if you stay absolutely true to your characters and their situations, but I don’t admire those memoirists who make up entire pasts for themselves for the sake of sensationalism.

6. You teach a wonderful memoir writing course with U.C. Berkeley’s online extension program that is open to the public. Is there anything you learned while writing “Gringa” that you share with your students?

I share my views on dialogue, and I urge my students to experiment with a blend of narration and dialogue, plus vivid sensory description and subtle characterization. I encourage them to play with the form of memoir; one student eventually turned his memoir about being a boxer-turned-tap-dancer into a one-man show in San Francisco. Another student wrote her final memoir in stream-of-consciousness narration similar to Dorothy Parker‘s short story “The Telephone Call.” I thoroughly enjoyed writing Gringa, even when the process felt painful, and I teach my memoir students to approach their memoir with the same levels of honesty, commitment to emotion, and humor.

7. One of the aspects of our upbringing which shapes the adults we become are our family. Family is also a defining factor in your memoir. What do you think makes family moments memorable for readers?

If they’re written well, family moments in memoir trigger the reader’s own notable family interactions. I hope readers of Gringa will relate to some of the absurd, whimsical family moments with my mother that made our situation bearable (I’m thinking of dressing up in Halloween costumes and driving in her VW bus to Sambo’s for nighttime pancakes). I know, too, that some people who read the accounts of my father’s volatile outbursts will recall similar instances in their childhood. I’ve received lots of fan mail which either commiserates with my position as his daughter, or celebrates the humor that provided salvation during the four days a month I got to spend with my mother.

8. Finally, you have a family of your own now, juggling the roles of mother and writer as many of WRA’s readers do, what do you think is the biggest benefit, and what the greatest pitfall, of being a mother-writer?

Before my husband and I adopted our young daughter, my writer-friend Jamie Passaro told me that becoming a mother would make me much more efficient as a writer. I didn’t believe her at the time, but now–a year and a half into being a mother–I see that she’s right. I carve out hours between caring for my daughter to write. Gone are those daylong stretches of free time during which I could just wander in and out of a chapter or essay at will, going for a long run in between, and maybe meeting a friend for lunch. Now, I have to write down and dirty during naps and preschool. Honestly, I don’t mind this at all; I think it’s made me a better writer.

The pitfall, most definitely, is having to be away from my daughter and husband while I’m on book tour or teaching workshops. I’ve done an awful lot of traveling since Gringa came out in October, and I’m scheduled to do much more in the form of writing conferences and classes. I adore teaching, and while I’m in the midst of interacting with students, I’m fine–but I hate telling my family goodbye before even an overnight trip. I guess I need to bring my laptop and Skype with them!

Thank you for sharing so much with me today, Melissa. It sounds like you live a full and busy life. I’m in awe of all you’re doing for yourself, your family, and the greater community. I’d like to take this opportunity to open the floor up for others if they have any questions.

by Melissa Hart

Ten years ago, when I began writing short humorous essays in earnest, I received a phone call from an editor at Woman’s Day. I’d sent her an 800-word piece about how my great-aunts purchased the front of a crazy-quilt at a thrift store, sewed a velvet backing on it and proceeded to exhibit it at county fairs, winning blue ribbons and cash prizes for a handicraft they’d contributed to only marginally. The New York editor struck me as elegantly brusque. “We’d like to publish your essay,” she said. “Will two thousand be acceptable?”

“Words?” I asked, already considering how to lengthen the piece.

She sighed with the world-weary patience of Manhattan confronting a country-mouse. “Dollars,” she said.

Thus I realized that an essay–penned in an hour over a mocha at my favorite coffeehouse and then revised in another hour a week later–could earn me a month’s income. Since then, I’ve sold short humorous essays to The Washington Post, The Advocate, The Chronicle of Higher Education, High Country News, and numerous other publications in a process that requires a quick burst of focused energy, a dedication to equally swift and relentless revision, and an understanding of the numerous magazines and newspapers that publish this genre.

But a few years ago, when my husband and I decided to adopt a toddler, I believed my writing career was over. I didn’t know how I could possibly concentrate while learning to care for a child. Finances mandated my continued work as a journalism teacher at the University of Oregon and a memoir teacher for U.C. Berkeley’s online extension program. Deeply in love with my husband, I wanted to remain devoted to hiking and traveling with him and our new daughter.

“There’s just no time to write!”

I wailed this to our long-suffering counselor at Eugene’s Artists’ Counseling Service. Peggy merely laughed and took out her giant pad of paper and a purple pen. “We’re going to break down each day into chunks,” she told my husband and me, pre-adoption. “You’ll see that Melissa gets several blocks of time each week to write, and Jonathan gets the same amount to devote to his photography.”

In theory, she was right. We looked at her seven-column grid and saw how we might structure each day so that we could spend time with our daughter, time with each other, write and/or photograph for a reasonable number of hours, and retain our day jobs. In actuality, once our daughter came home, I cringed at the thought of leaving her, even for two hours, to engage in something as indulgent as writing essays.

“Love, it’s your work.” My husband handed me my notebook. “Go get a mocha. All you have to do is produce a rough draft.”

I knew he was right. Reluctantly, I walked down to my favorite coffeehouse and sat there for an hour, staring dismally at the blank pages. I returned home an hour early. “Performance anxiety,” I explained.

After several false starts, I did begin to find my rhythm as a writer and mother, thanks to my practice in writing short essays. Now, I can whip out a rough draft between university classes. If I wake early, I sit up in bed and reach for my notebook and pen. If my daughter’s at preschool and I find myself inspired by a current event or trend or family memory, I sit down at the computer even if I have a stack of papers to grade, bills to pay, and the kitchen floor to mop.

I’m learning to view the chapters of my memoir-in-progress in the same manner as I approach short essays; I just have to remember that the chapters, longer and sometimes more literary, require multiple revisions.

These days, I receive enough editorial acceptance to keep up my confidence. But money earned from my essays and memoir represents a secondary reward. My husband is right–writing is my work, and I love the process of crafting essays and books almost as much as I adore my family.

It’s difficult to juggle my roles as wife and mother, teacher and writer. Sometimes, I collapse in exhaustion. I tell myself during those down-times that I could let the writing go . . . but then what would I be teaching my daughter?

Early Sunday mornings, she pads out to the living room to find me bent over my computer, much as my mother used to bend over the short stories composed on an electric typewriter. I hope that the sight of me writing–even if the dishes sit unwashed and the windows need scrubbing–will inspire my daughter to dedicate herself to a passion that, along with beloved family members and friends, makes life worth living.

Melissa Hart is a journalism teacher at the University of Oregon, and a memoir writing teacher for U.C. Berkeley’s online extension program. Her new memoir, Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood (Seal Press, 2009), is a coming-of-age story about growing up white, heterosexual and boring in multicultural Los Angeles with a lesbian mom, a brother with Down syndrome, and a deep desire to be a Latina.

The Oregonian notes, “Hart, who teaches writing at the University of Oregon, has crafted a well-balanced tale that forgoes blame in favor of poignancy.”

Booklist says, ” “LGBT families and immigrant kids will want it for the honesty, humor, and love. Every lively chapter ends with a detailed recipe that mixes food and feelings.”

Kirkus Reviews says of Gringa, “”The book is filled with detailed conversations and particulars of dress, mannerisms and facial expressions that give it the feeling of a novel. A quirky narrative of artfully reconstructed memories.”

When Melissa Hart’s mother left her father to live with another woman in the 1970s, the custody decision was no surprise for the times—lesbians would not be allowed to raise three young children. Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood is Hart’s account of her life after her forced separation from her mother and through her formative years into college.

The disparity between every-other-weekend days spent with her mother in a small home in a Southern California Latino neighborhood and the rest of her life spent in her father and stepmother’s middle-class home is stark. At first too young to understand anything but her own desire to spend more time with her mother, Hart grows into a teenager embarrassed by her mother’s living situation.

She questions her own sexuality, and she struggles to find a cultural identity in school. Dark-skinned students seem to have the most interesting lives, and Hart’s white skin is often the fodder for comments and jokes. She yearns for the ethnic food her classmates bring for lunch and for the cultural background that goes with it.

Each chapter of Gringa almost stands on its own as a snapshot of a different experience or a different time in Hart’s childhood. Taken together, the chapters form a fascinating account that shows not only Hart’s personal family experience, but the times she grew up in as well. As a child of the 70s myself, I recognized references to popular television shows and music, and I found it interesting to compare what was happening in my life at the same time.

Whimsical recipes close out each chapter. The recipes not only relate to food featured in the narrative, but also to the emotions that went along with the events of the food. For instance, for a chapter titled, “Ethiopia,” in which one of Hart’s classmates tells Ethiopian jokes (remember those?), the recipe is for White Girl Cookies. During the chapter Hart tells how bringing white cookies to an event ended up as part of a joke about her white skin. Her preparations for the event and her emotions about once again having her skin tone stand out are as much a part of the recipe as the ingredients. It’s an interesting technique that livens up both the narrative and the recipes.

At times Gringa is funny, contemplative and sad, although it doesn’t rely on emotion to carry the story along. Hart is not afraid to highlight her own flaws, her own anger and confusion, and her own role in some of the events that frustrate her as she grows. As I read it, I felt that Hart could have been any girl who sat next to me in school, quietly concealing a turbulent home life while appearing to be sure of who she was.

Although part of me longed for more details about Hart’s life with her father, her stepmother and her mother, I also recognized that having that detail would not have helped me to understand Hart’s experience. All in all, I feel I got just enough of what she was feeling to help me see the root of her choices. Recently I heard Hart give a speech in which she advised that memoirist write about various pieces of their lives and weave those pieces together to form a complete narrative. Gringa is a testament that her advice is sound.

Find out more about, Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood and Melissa Hart.

Stay tuned this month for a guest post from, talented memoirist Melissa Hart, author of “Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood”. And on Saturday, our own Rebecca Laffar-Smith interviews Melissa about the value of relationships in writing and how family played a significant role in her memoir. Subscribe right now so you won’t miss out.

No matter what kind of fiction you write, you have to have a main character, a hero, with various traits. This is especially true in romance writing. Your characters are tall, dark, and handsome. They’re perfect….

Or are they?

Romantic heroes should have great qualities. Here are five qualities your heroes need to be well-rounded, believable characters:

1. Likeability

If you don’t like your hero, your reader won’t either. More importantly, neither will his intended love interest. No interest on the heroine’s part, no story regardless of how much your hero wants to be with her.

Even if he isn’t likeable in general at the beginning of your story, he has to have at least one likeable quality. He also needs potential to grow to be more likeable.

2. A flaw

Let’s face it: People aren’t perfect. Your hero shouldn’t be either. He needs to be flawed.

Give him a physical imperfection. He’s tall, dark, and handsome… with a limp. His face is badly scarred from being burned in a fire.

Give him a psychological imperfection. His uncle is a renegade vigilante who leads bands of clansmen to ambush rival clans as they travel. He’s a womanizer who has been told he has to get married or lose his title and position.

3. A love interest

While your hero could be narcissistic and love himself, he also needs to have an external love interest. What else is a romance but a story between two people, regardless of sexual orientation, as they fall in love and deal with the conflicts that arise as their relationship grows? Well, okay, it could also be a suspense, mystery, or historical, just to name a few. The lover needs to give the hero a reason to grow, to change. He can’t be the exact same person at the end of the story as he was at the beginning.

4. Other interests/events

Do you have one interest and only one interest in your life? I think the answer is no. You have more than one interest. Your hero should, too.

What else is going on in his life that takes his attention away from his one-and-only? War drags him away just as things are starting to get hot and heavy. Hunting takes him away for shorter times. Injury, and possibly near-death, keep him away for longer (but also serves for good growth in their relationship if his love interest is willing to act as his nurse). His job makes him travel cross-country. Football keeps him glued to the television on Mondays.

Give him something else to be interested in. Otherwise, you will have a flat character that no one – including you – cares about.

5. Motivation

What drives your character?

Other than spending time with his heroine, there is another driving force in your hero’s life. Perhaps it is protecting his people, getting a promotion, defending his family’s honor, or making enough money to live comfortably. Without motivation, your character is a dead-beat.

That’s not very romantic.

There are a lot of factors that go into creating a strong character. These five traits, while not exhaustive by any means, provide a good foundation for creating your hero. They are also not exclusive to men. Your heroines also need these qualities, which should complement the hero’s, at least in some ways.

Above all, your heroes and heroines need to be individuals and not cookie-cutter copies of previous characters with different names. Figuring out these main five traits will help develop their individuality. How else can you set your heroes and heroines apart from other characters?

Jen Nipps is a talented romance author and freelance writer/editor based in south-central Oklahoma, USA. She currently spends time in the hands of her love, the hero of her latest historical romance, “Trevor’s Triumph”.

Okay, I admit it, I am absolutely passionate about writing! From poetry at age three to yellow legal pads full of screenplays and short stories, I was a pretty prolific writer at a young age! Words have always been my favorite plaything, and crafting them into a cohesive piece is a satisfying way to spend an afternoon – and a lifetime!

However, not all writing strikes excitement into the depths of your heart. Let’s face it, highly technical writing can be dry and lifeless, and it takes a special breed of writer to get excited about articles stuffed with SEO keywords. Many assignments that will cross your path won’t breech your wealth of knowledge or interest.

Stoke Your Writing Passion

How to keep the writing fires burning? Like any loving relationship, tending to your writing passion requires tenderness and care. Trudging through one incredibly dull writing project after another will snuff out the last smoldering remains of your writing passion! Yet we all have to accept some uninspiring writing assignments once in awhile. Even the flame of writing passion that burns brightly at the beginning of the best writing projects can grow dim over time.

Here are some of the hottest (!) tips to stoke your love of writing to new heights:

• Schedule your writing first. Start your writing day off right by working on your favorite type of writing first. It stretches those early morning creative muscles and the inspiration can spread to your other writing projects throughout the day. Do you have a budding novel that you don’t have much time to write? A quick 30 minutes will jumpstart your writing day and bring steady progress as well.
• Alternate between dull and exciting writing. Dragging through a mundane piece? Take a break and switch off to something more lively. Even if you need to complete the harder project immediately, it won’t get done quickly if you’re scraping the bottom of your creativity. Working on an engaging piece can get the pen or keyboard moving, and you can switch back to your higher priority (but less lovely) writing when you are ready.
• Remember why you love writing. Do you love crafting interesting characters? Make your real life subjects come alive in your non-fiction writing, by learning what motivates them and how they are changing the world. Can you describe anything with clarity and attention to detail? Transfer your exposition talents to mundane topics, to capture your audience’s attention. Your writing passion can carry over to all forms of writing, with a little creativity.

With time and attention, your writing passion can be sustained throughout your writing career. Don’t let the writing doldrums get you down! All of our writing deserves our best effort, and the rewards of a passionate relationship with our writing can last a lifetime.

How do you keep the writing home fires burning? What area of writing really excites you? Share your love of writing here!

Photo Credit: Photos8.com

Talented romance author, Kat O’Reilly, joins us today to share a little about writing romance.

Hey Kat, thank you so very much for joining us this month. As you know, we’re all about “Romance and Relationships” at Writer’s Round-About this February and with Valentine’s Day just last Sunday, love is still on many of our minds.

1. You’ve written a series of historical romances already, what inspired you to begin these novels and to write in the historical romance genre?

Honestly? I had a dream that started the first book, “Kiernan’s Curse”. Half of the dream is the opening of the prologue. The other half is later on in the book. That’s really pretty much why I started writing the books. From the way Kiernan was dressed in the dream, I knew it had to be historical, but I didn’t know what era, so I had to do quite a bit of research to find that out.

2. There is at least one key relationship in any romance, what is involved in developing the relationship between your hero and heroine?

Mutual attraction brings them together initially and that does remain, but there has to be something more. And it’s not always about chemistry. No relationship is without conflict, so a big part of why they’re together is how they work things out. It’s different for each one, but the key is that they grow individually and as a couple with each one.

3. What do you think is the most important aspect a character needs to truly connect with your readers?

Likeability. Even the antagonists need to have at least one likeable trait. You hear about characters people love to hate. That’s because there was something the readers identified with that they actually liked in the character even if they (thought they) hated them.

4. Do you find this aspect is also what brings your Hero and Heroine together?

Definitely! If the hero & heroine weren’t likeable, there’d be no reason for the story.

5. Although the romantic relationship between your Hero and Heroine is the most significant in a romance novel, do you think it is important for the characters in romance novels to have relationships with additional characters? How do these other relationships benefit the story?

Again, definitely! Without the other relationships, the story is flat and readers don’t really get to know the characters as people. That’s important to me in books I read, so I want to give the same feeling in my books.

6. Recently, you mentioned that your current work-in-progress, “Trevor’s Triumph might be the steamiest of the three…”, what makes a romance novel “steamy”?

I have a friend/mentor who would say the “smut factor” makes a romance novel steamy.

Sexual tension definitely contributes to the steaminess of it. Some romance novels stop there. I don’t. I actually go behind closed doors. In the beginning of the book, if Trevor lived in modern times and were a woman, he’d be called a slut. He meets the woman he’s supposed to be with and immediately gets the hots for her. He respects her father, the head of another clan, so he doesn’t try to get into her skirts (yet), but he goes back home and gives himself a hand-job. That’s in chapter two. (I’ve had another hero do that, but not until quite a bit later in the book.)

I do my best to keep from including such scenes gratuitously, but I can’t give a guarantee that all of them (usually 2 per story, if that many) are absolutely 100% necessary.

7. One of the aspects that make romance novels distinctive is the broad variation of “love scenes“, from the tender caress, to the no-holds-barred sex scene. What do you think is most important when writing these kinds of scenes?

Even with a no-holds-barred scene, you’ve got to leave some things to the imagination. Otherwise, it borders on porn. While I might write erotic scenes, I don’t do porn. Some writers do (and I’ve actually read some that has been done well). I try to be erotic without being too smutty.

The most important thing in these scenes, other than the imagination factor, is if the scene works. How does a love scene work? If you get turned on. At a conference one time, I heard a romance writer (I can’t remember who at the moment) said if you get turned on writing the scene, your reader will when they read it. And you know the scene works.

8. What do you think is the true purpose of “love scenes” in romance writing?

I think it varies. Sometimes it’s meant to show that the main characters are sexually compatible. Sometimes it’s to show some character development. I try to do a bit of both in the scenes I include.

9. Reflecting on the novels you’ve written yourself, which lines stand out the most in your own memory? Why do you think you’re drawn to those in particular?

Do you mean actual lines I’ve written? That’s a tough one.

In “Navajo Rose”, which is a contemporary romantic suspense, it’s during the second intimate scene with Paige and Ricky. The first one, she panicked and made him stop. Here’s the bit from the second one that stands out the most for me:

• She squeezed lightly and smiled when he moaned. She did it again and sat up to give him a lick.
  He stopped her then. “I can’t do that right now.” It sounded as if someone else spoke. He had never heard his voice so husky.
  “Then what?”
  “If I start, Paige, I won’t be able to stop.”
  She frowned and growled at him. “I’d kill you if you stopped right now.”
  His shaft jerked at her tone. “I don’t have a condom.”
  “I don’t care!” She squeezed again.

The key part of it is where he tells her he wouldn’t be able to stop.

10. Which book do you think has had the greatest impact on your romance writing? Why do you think it influences you so greatly?

I don’t think there’s one book in particular. There are four authors who do, though: Sherrilyn Kenyon, Christine Feehan, Karen Marie Moning, and Katie MacAlister. Each of them have some aspects that I try to learn from. With Sherrilyn & Katie, it’s their immediacy. With Karen, it’s her description. With Christine, it’s the closeness to her characters. (They all have great closeness, but with her Ghost Walker Series, it’s even more pronounced since they’re all somehow psychically enhanced.)

Here’s a little secret: The first sex scene I ever wrote, I read one of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s intimate scenes (I think it was in Dark Side of the Moon) as a kind of guide as to how to structure it. *s*

Thank you again for your time, Kat. I truly appreciate having this opportunity to share in your experiences. Writing for the romance genre can be particularly challenging but it’s a very popular theme and it has universal appeal. We all want to experience a little love in our lives. Writing romance must be a wonderful way to be immersed in the sensation of new love and the roller-coaster of romantic relationships.

What do YOU think makes a romance “steamy”? Have you read a love scene that really turned you on? What do you think is the true purpose of “love scenes” in romance writing? Have you ever written any of your own?

Feng Shui consultants, sleep experts and probably many psychologists advise against working in the same place you sleep. It’s not a good idea, they say, to bring workday stress  into your sanctuary.

Until this year, I agreed. No computers in the bedroom. No television. No exercise equipment. (Experts say these highly-charged items also inhibit relaxation.) Not even a reference book. I did keep a pen and notepad near the bed for jotting down story ideas or recording dreams, but that was as far as I went.

Until this year. Some minor health problems that led to intense exhaustion by about 7 PM, a toddler who doesn’t sleep through the night, and a cold winter convinced me that the coziest place to work might just be in bed.

I’d put my daughter to sleep by 9, pull on my cozy, warm, fuzzy pajamas, and climb under the covers with my laptop. Now, my health problems are gone. But my daughter still wakes up every 3 to 6 hours and, to be frank, it’s February and still damn cold. On certain nights, the weight of my down comforter just looks too appealing to pass up. At this moment, for instance, I’m writing this from the comfort of my bed.

“Every Day is Casual Friday”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t lounge around all day, and I don’t recommend that for any freelance writer. A few years ago, I was a big proponent of “looking the part.” I’d shower and dress for work everyday, the same as I would in an office. Granted, I’ve always worked in casual industries where daily attire consists of blue jeans, sneakers and a free t-shirt from a trade show. Seriously, the bosses couldn’t institute casual Friday because we’d all wear bathing suits to work. Or towels. Or worse. “Dressing up” meant a t-shirt without an advertiser’s logo on it.

So I basically continued dressing the part of “hip young magazine editor” when I became a full-time freelance writer and work-at-home mom. I still feel more productive when both me and my daughter are showered and dressed (complete with shoes) before lunchtime. If I’m doing a phone interview, I put on make-up. Really. Looking “together” makes me feel “together.”

I feel the same way about my workspace. I like my desk clean. I can ignore the three-week old toast crumbs under the couch and the fruit punch spilled on the DVD remote, as long as my desk is organized. It’s almost as if I can block the rest of my environment out when I’m at my work space.

Business Owner by Day, Writer by Night

Knowing this, you’d think I’d be the type of person who found it anathema to work in pajamas in my bed. But I don’t. I’m not sure why, but without my task list, calendar, and reference books in front of me, I feel more focused. I can write as if the only thing I have to do is the article I’m writing at this moment.

Like the cozy exclusivity of the bedroom, itself, which shuts out the rest of the world, writing in bed makes me forget about everything except what I’m doing at that moment. I don’t concern myself with social networking, chatting, or phone calls. By this time of night, business hours are long done, and I get to (ironically) work on my favorite aspect of freelance writing: the writing.

I couldn’t imagine conducting an interview from my bed (or even in my pajamas). Freelance writing is a business, and when I’m dealing with the business aspects, I act and dress like a businessperson. But I’m glad I can carve out this quiet time to pursue the part I love most about being a writer.

Your Thoughts?

Readers, where do you stand on this debate? Do you “get dressed” for work? Does it make you more productive? Do you ever write in bed, or some other place that people might find strange?

Freelancers live life behind the scenes, plugging away at a computer to craft masterful content, be it in writing or web design (or virtual assistance, PR, or marketing!) It is a solitary life, and your fellow freelancers deserve a little love, especially if they have made a difference in your life.

However, we can be so wrapped up in our own freelance career, that our dearest online friends may never know how much they mean to us! We are all rushing to meet deadlines and please our clients. How can we find time to connect with those who have supported us throughout our freelance career?

Make Yourself Available

If you want to support your fellow freelancers, you have to be present. Carve out some time each day to spend showing your freelance friends that you are there for them. Hang out on Twitter, Facebook, or Plurk and catch up on the day’s events. Socialize, laugh, and offer help when it is needed.

Don’t worry if you only have ten spare minutes at the end of your day. That is enough time to keep friendly connections kindled, as long as you make a regular effort. They will be more than happy to see you, and hear about your freelancing adventures! Camaraderie and support are the small things that keep us going, all throughout the year.

Connect The Freelance Dots

Bring together those freelancers in your online communities who need to meet each other. Have a writer friend who needs a custom website design? Introduce her to the web tech who designed your website. Do a few of your freelance friends need daily doses of inspiration and accountability? Partner them up and watch the creative sparks fly!

This step only requires paying attention to your friends’ needs and abilities. Put in a good word for each freelancer in the other’s ear, and give them a chance to get to know each other. The possibilities are endless – but don’t worry if they decide that they are not the right match for each other. Your attentive concern for their success will be noticed and appreciated.

Spread The Word

Do you know some rockstar freelancers? I bet we all do! Share their accomplishments and links with everyone in your social streams. A link love blog post or #FollowFriday tweet shows your appreciation and can bring unexpected opportunities to your friends – and you as well!

Some freelance people I couldn’t do without:

• Rebecca Laffar-Smith: Our lovely hostess here at Writer’s Round-About! Excellent writer and web tech, filled with Aussie charm.
• Michele Tune: Fellow WRA writer and Raw Foodie, she’s so busy writing yet takes time to help others succeed. A true freelance friend unlike any other!
• Amy Sey Brown: A crafty gal who is on her way to help others succeed in their own artistic endeavors. Plus she can brainstorm like a madwoman!

Of course, there are so many of you wildly successful freelancers who have made my life great, I couldn’t possibly list you all. But I want to take the time now to send out a big “Thank You!” for sending encouragement and support my way exactly when I need it the most.

A little love makes all the difference!

What are your favorite ways for sharing the freelance love? Who deserves a shout out and a big hug for all of their support “above and beyond the freelance call of duty”? Bring your best freelance love ideas to the table!

Photo Credit: Jessica.Garro

You know the saying “Love makes the world go round? ” Writing  from experience and imagination can wager a pretty penny for those looking to grow and prosper from their creative writing …The language of love is alluring. Speaking from a woman’s perspective, the very idea of love harbors some fantasy of a Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, minus the tragic ending of course.

Feburary 14th is Valentine’s Day. It is on this day that women look forward to the reminders from their mate; that they are loved and desired. Loving verse from a greeting card, penned by an ambitious writer, conveys this message quite well. In Roman Times, a young priest named Saint Valentine was jailed and ordered put to death. This is where love gets tricky.

Valentine, as the tale goes, fell madly in love with the jailer’s daughter. He wrote her love letters from his jail cell on a regular basis… love letters written from behind walls of separation and signed “from your Valentine”. Saint Valentine’s expression of love via letters survives to this day. The oldest known love letter was a poem written by Charles of Valois, Duke Of Orleans, to his wife, Bonne d’Armagnac, after he was wounded and caught in 1415′s Battle of Agincourt. That manuscript can still be found (reportedly) at the British Library in London, England.

I believe that writers are true romantics at heart. Whether they’re penning a love letter to a one and only, a new love interest smoldering with possibility, or reaching into memories of past loves, writing sentimental stories and poems can lead to an increase in cash flow for the freelance writer in 2010. Love rocks!

Some sites to consider when researching where to send your sentiments of love :

1. Anthologies:

Contributing to anthologies might not pay highly, but, it does offer greater exposure and networking opportunities. There is a market for anthologies in all freelance writing genres, particularly romance. To find anthologies seeking love stories, poems, and essays, go to AnthologiesOnline.com

2. Lyrics/Songwriting:

There are many writing competitions that require a small entry fee to judge your work and perhaps award you the prize. In 2005, I entered the VH1 Song Of The Year Competition where I’d written lyrics to what I thought was a lovely remembrance of a soft/melodic love (at a price)… To make a long story short, I didn’t snag the big prize but my son was nominated as “Selected Artist” for that year. That nomination is a fantastic reference.

While you might not always win, writing lyrics and songs for competitions builds your experience and in time you might consider entering the song writing industry. Many talented writers earn their bread and butter writing the words to songs sung by popular artists. Interested in this field? Have you seen Coyote Ugly or Music and Lyrics?

3. Poetry/Prose:

April is National Poetry Month and poetry writing is on the move. Making a profit from poetry can be challenging but is still possible. Every year new poetry is published across the world in many different forms. I have a friend, Mark Anthony Hall, who made his career writing romantic poetry. An Author of several books of romantic poetry/prose and essays, he’s a success in writing letters from the heart.

Mark Anthony also publishes a newsletter, “For Romantics Only”, that takes submissions of romantic short-stories, cartoons, and poetry. I was one of his very first submissions back in the 90s. Visit his website and read excerpts from one of his books, ”Romantic Bedside Stories”, to jump-start your own romantic juices and spark a creative flow.

The possibilities for publishing and profiting from romance writing are endless. From greeting cards, Ezines, and eBooks, to CDs, audiotapes, and books; Writing about love in any art form can be fun and lucrative. Who knows, your work might label you a” Love Guru”!

As Valentine’s Day approaches, writers should take the initiative, write those letters in whatever shape, form, or fashion; Stakeout, identify and bombard your market with submissions and get in on this lucrative boom promoting the essence of love!

What has been your experience with romantic writing?

Photo Credit: ildalina

In my post “Breaking Up (With Clients) Doesn’t Have To Be Hard” I talked about ways to end a client relationship on good terms. But how do you know when it’s time to say good-bye?

Often, as I alluded to in that post, we let fear keep us in relationships – professional and otherwise – that we’d be better off without.

First, know this: To get the writing jobs you truly desire, you must “make room” for them. This means letting go of jobs that no longer benefit you in some way or another.

Trust Your Gut

Esther and Jerry Hicks, in their book The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham cite an Emotional Guidance System every human being possesses. If we can get in touch with our emotions, they will guide us to the right decision. We can get in better touch with our emotions through:

• meditation
• journalling
• prayer
• quiet contemplation
• music…
• or whatever method works best for you

When a writing job is not in line with our greater purpose and goals, our Emotional Guidance System sends out warning signs. If a writing job doesn’t “feel” right, it is probably not a good fit anymore. Ask yourself the following questions to decide:

1. Do I look forward to working on this project?
2. Do I push it to the bottom of my to-do list so it doesn’t get done until deadline time?
3. How do emails and phone calls from the editor or client make me feel: filled with dread, or oozing excitement and anticipation?

Procrastination could also be a result of fear that you won’t do a good job or the feeling that you’re “out of your league” with a project. Listen to your emotions and make sure this isn’t the case.

If you’ve been doing a job with proficiency for a long time, chances are you’re burnt out and it’s time to let go. On the other hand, if it’s a new project, larger or more high-profile than anything you’ve done before, your emotions probably stem from fear of doing the job correctly.

Physical Symptoms of “Burn Out”

I’m using the phrase “trust your gut” literally. Negative emotions can manifest in physical symptoms, including:

• Headaches
• Nausea
• “Butterflies in the tummy”
• Exhaustion
• An overall sense of dread
• Mild depression

“But I Need the Money”

As business people, we must weigh the practical aspects against our feelings. I would never recommend giving up a $1/word column that pays the better part of your bills each month with no way to replace your income.

Instead, continue the work and set aside part of the day to look for other assignments you’ll enjoy. Consider subcontracting parts of your current assignment so you can collect partial income and keep the door open to come back if you choose.

Of course, sometimes a situation becomes untenable and you have to jump ship and expect a life boat to be waiting. I’ve left magazine editing jobs under those circumstances. Leaving yourself with “No Plan B” can work, if you have absolute faith that you will succeed. Because if you believe you will – you will.

If you stick around in situations where you simply can’t stand it anymore, the harder it will be to leave on good terms. Your work will suffer and the client will see it. The client may even make the decision for you, and since freelancers don’t get unemployment, this strategy isn’t the best. Instead, get out while the getting is good.

Your emotional guidance system is the most effective way to determine if a freelance writing job is still a good fit for you. But there are other ways, too. Writers, what signs tell you that you’ve outgrown a writing gig?